Three Girls

| Self-forgiveness|

I don’t know what that means, but I’ll try.

Maybe a little like gasping for breath in a room full of smoke. Choking your lungs and then struggling to breathe.

Or applying an antiseptic on a fresh wound. And then years later, again.

Also listening to the craziness of your own heart beating against your breath, waking you up from the dream you never wanted.

The fear of being happy. Of being homeless. Of never being able to listen to the soul.

I think it’s more like that little child who is afraid to leave his mother’s side in the darkness of the unlit room, afraid of the monsters eating him up. Or afraid of tumbling over the chair and falling down and hurting his knee and then crying himself to sleep.

Or like these Three Girls by Amrita Sher-Gil.
I call them اعتراف  (‘Acceptance’), افسوس  (‘Remorse’), and امید  (‘Hope’).
Eyes bowed, hearts heavy. If you were to pat them on the back, I doubt they’d even look at you. Their hearts have fallen to the bottom of the dark, deep well. They cannot smile like you and me! Perhaps that’s what exhaustion really is. Perhaps that’s how they hide inside us all, beneath our calm poker faces and Insta savvy smiles and Snapchat filters, dying a little each day, punishing and punishing.

But so what do you do?
You put your forehead to the ground and you breathe it out with each heartbeat. Slowly, with love. And you say, “Please! Please!”

If the sun rises again tomorrow and if you rise with it, then its done and you’re home for all.

You’re home for all.

That, trust me, is the only way.

 

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Amrita Sher-Gil. Three Girls 1935. National Gallery of Modern Art, New Delhi
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Guest blog: fatimah.creates

Fatimah Nadeem is a seventeen-year-old artist from Karachi, Pakistan. Quickly achieving a celebrity status on Instagram, her paintings and art are bound to leave you mesmerised. She is currently doing her A’ Levels. 

In this short guest blog, Fatimah talks about her inspirations and future goals.

 

Art is like that safe haven, a spot for solace which I can resort to at any time.

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My passion for art started as a very young child and from drawing fishes on walls, I am now able to paint sceneries, galaxies and abstract pieces.

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I entered the Instagram art community two years ago and it has given a lot back to me. The encouragement and support that I get every day from people all over the world have made me confident about myself and about my identity as an artist, and as a Pakistani.

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If three years ago, you had told me that people would be posting art pieces inspired by my creations, or would be coming to events to meet me or that I would be hearing the phrase, “You are my inspiration”, I would have laughed in your face. This is truly incredible!

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To become a better human being, and to show the world that Pakistan also has mind-blowing talent, is my goal in life. For the purpose of promoting Pakistani art, I have created the Instagram hashtag #pakistancreates to represent the artist community of Pakistan.

My inspiration is not different from that of any other artist’s – emotions. It is very intriguing to see how colours and objects can make one feel. My colour palette is based on feelings attached to a certain colour. I associate blue with happiness and boldness, black with mystique, green with peace, and so on. 

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My advice to all young artists out there is this: believe in yourselves. I have received many messages where budding artists tell me how they feel that their art is not as good as mine, that their art is not as amazing as it should be. You should never compare your art to someone else’s because each one of us has a different and unique style of painting to express ourselves. Not only believe in yourself but be open advise and criticism, for that is how you will grow. All great people start out as nothing; the more you trust yourself and the Grand Plan, the easier you will be able to achieve your goals and dreams. 

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You can check out my work at the following links:

Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCWtjUMWBoB-Ob5VFZ0cRXew

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fatimah.creates/?hl=en

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The views expressed by the writer and the reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the blog owner.